I’m a recovering people pleaser and I know all the classic symptoms.
People pleasers believe that everyone else’s happiness is their responsibility.
They go out of their way to do favors for clients and others, while neglecting their own desires.
The word, “no” is barely in their vocabulary and even if they do manage to say it, they feel guilty and upset, hours or even days later.
You might recognize some or all of these behaviors in yourself.
Maybe you think you’re being nice or helpful.
Maybe you believe that by doing more than your fair share of work or by taking on more than you should in your business without asking for compensation, you are accumulating “good karma.”
Unfortunately, this is not the case.
You should know that people pleasing is dangerous behavior that can potentially destroy your business…
One of the biggest challenges that can stop a consummate people pleaser from achieving success is the inability to let things go with grace.
Sometimes, you may even be called upon to let go of certain people such as a client you love and enjoyed working with in the past.
This literally happened to me recently.
I noticed that a client I truly cared about — someone who had purchased one of my Group Programs — was no longer in my Facebook group.
I saw her post, in another group, that she had left several Facebook groups that she no longer resonated with and where there was “fakery.”
I for one have never tried to be fake or misrepresent anything, so I was surprised and I’ll admit — more than a little hurt — to see her post.
I found myself asking, “Had I done something wrong? Had I hurt her feelings without realizing that I had? What was going on? Why did she leave?”
She is someone I genuinely care about and I am, by nature, a peacemaker and a natural mediator for others in relationships.
The whole incident triggered some of my old stories and emotions around people pleasing.
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Thankfully, I’ve done a lot of healing and self-reflection in this area and I was able to handle it with a great deal of clarity.
When I noticed that I was spiraling into a cloud of worry and doubt, I stopped, took a deep breath and made a choice.
I decided that instead of trying to change things with her or feeling the need to make it right or to blame myself, I would do something different…
Something far more empowering.
I decided that I would make peace with her decision. I would accept it, send her love and let her go.
I decided that I would not take on something that wasn’t mine to begin with.
As we evolve spiritually and as we become more and more successful and centered in our business, there will be those who resonate with us and those who do not.
We need to accept that there will be people who won’t like us and that’s okay.
You can choose to love them all because they give you the chance to continue to release your habits of people pleasing and trying to control every outcome and situation
I have learned that our job is not to worry or try to control other people’s feelings about us.
Our real job is to keep showing up and sharing our authentic message. Our job is to serve from the heart to the best of our abilities.
That is the role of a successful entrepreneur and a leader.
It took me a long time to understand this and I still struggle with it sometimes because it takes a great deal of strength and courage to let people go but I’m finding that it is absolutely worth it…
And I know you will too.
This is the only way to clear the path so you can continue to receive the ideas, connections and collaborations that match who you are and that raise you higher.
This way, you will never stop evolving as a spiritual being.
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You will never stop growing and expanding your business and you will never stop creating more and more success as you continue to serve more people whose lives you are meant to touch and who will receive the greatest benefit from your work in this world.